Awake

I woke up this week.

Staring at the mirror I’ve always seen a big guy. I know I’m big. There’s no hiding my size. But for some reason, I’ve always seen myself as someone a lot smaller. I’m fed up with how far I’ve let my body go. I’m almost 32. I don’t want to die. I don’t want a heart attack.

On Monday, I made the call to explore getting gastric bypass surgery. I know I have the potential to lose weight, but I am my own worst enemy. I’ve tried dieting and have had some success, but something always comes up – always gets in the way – and I fail. Or I get bored with it. Or I get hungry from starving myself. It’s a terrible, terrible cycle and I’m tired of being in it.

So I’m exploring the surgery. I know there are potential risks from it, and it’s not fool-proof. I can sabotage myself even after having the surgery. But I really feel like this is going to be my best chance to get the excess weight I have, off. Permanently.

I was assigned a case worker today. I’ll have to be under a six month, doctor or dietician-assisted diet plan, undergo a psychological exam, and participate in six months of counseling/support groups.

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6 thoughts on “Awake

  1. Chris,

    This blog post made me smile. It made me smile because I KNOW you can do anything that you set your mind to. As you know, fitness is somewhat a big part of my life. I use it to help me stay healthy and focused. If there is ANYTHING that I can do to help you reach your goals, please do not hesitate to reach out! #BringIT!

    Cheers! AGG

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